About
All I ever wanted to be was a good horse rider. I can’t even remember why this was so important to me but it just was. I passed my BHSAI (British Horse Society Assistant Instructor) certificate at 19 which suggested I had some level of riding competence but I perceived myself not to have the natural talent to pursue a career with horses. I held a strong belief at that time that talent was something you were either born with or not, and I was most definitely not talented! It would be many years later through the AT that I changed that belief and realised that ‘talent’ can be grown.
I was also under the impression that horse riders were brave probably because I had a keen interest in Eventing & Eventer’s are most definitely brave. I had also worked for Anne-Marie Taylor, former International Event Rider for a season as work experience but deep down I knew that I wasn’t very brave.
My attempts to appear otherwise just covered up my fear and lack of confidence which can have serious consequences when around horses. After all, they are masters at reading body language & energy - they’re really quite smart in that way - as prey animals their survival depends on it.
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I chose instead to go to university where I graduated with a 2:1 in a BA (Hons) Human Resources Management and Applied Psychology Degree. The idea was that a career in HR would enable me to afford my own horse...which it did. My 20 year HR career developed my understanding of human behaviour in the workplace and what motivates people to perform.
In his recent book ‘Drive’, Daniel H. Pink explains the secret to motivation in today’s world is the deeply human need to direct our own lives, to learn and create new things, and to do better by ourselves and the world.
Superbrain coach, Jim Kwik says that “the difference that makes the difference always comes down to action”. His H3 model; Head, Heart, Hands illustrates this. We all visualise goals in our head; our hearts provide the emotion and energy; and our hands represent the action we need to take in order to reap the rewards.
Riding had captured my heart and mind, and I was willing to do the work despite not being terribly good at it! I was much better at hockey and actually had some success representing South of England at U21 and County Level Seniors but it just goes to show being good at something isn’t always enough.
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Alongside my HR work, I had been introduced to a riding instructor that really illuminated the lessons that horses can teach and I took weekly riding lessons with her for well over a decade. She had recommended AT lessons to help with my riding and for that I will always be incredibly grateful.
Despite my desire to train however, it would be a further 5 years before I was in a position to take action and enrol on the teacher training course at LCATT (London Centre for Alexander Teacher Training). During my 3 year training course, it was as if everything I’d been learning throughout my career and from horses (either consciously or not) had lead to this point. It was all coming together and the dots starting to connect; it was quite the experience. I found my new zest for learning all very exciting, however quickly realised that it can also feel strange and at times uncomfortable especially as I moved from being completely unaware of my own incompetence to suddenly becoming all too aware of it! I certainly expected learning to be much less challenging than it actually is…..and I definitely had the belief that improvement in my riding should somehow be an automatic outcome of my lessons. After all, it wasn’t as if I hadn’t made the effort!
"A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions."
Oliver Wendall Holmes
Over the years I’ve tried a lot of things in my desperate pursuit ‘to be a good horse rider’. I’ve been strapped to a mechanical horse with bungee cords (which was mortifying); had my legs tied to the girth and a whip through my elbows to keep the coveted ear, shoulder, hip, heel line. The problem was that I may have improved the look of my position externally but it was literally held in place with a lot of unnecessary tension. Nothing that needed to move in my body could move, including my rib cage, which is imperative if you actually want to breathe whilst riding!
There had to be a different way....and I found it (and much much more) by learning the Alexander Technique. FM Alexander, originator of the technique, understood well over a century ago that we are ‘us’ all the time, and that all our activities whether riding or otherwise involve our whole selves.
I have also come to realise that it takes a lot of courage to really know & accept yourself for who you are. According to Hempfling, courage is one of the qualities a horse looks for in his human partner but the definition of which is not necessarily what you might expect.
“Courage to a horse has nothing to do with foolish derring-do, but rather with overcoming, as illustrated by this example.
They stood in the face of the enemy and the young knight said softly to the old one, ‘I am so afraid that even my armour is rattling’. For a moment the old one said nothing. Then he replied, ‘Do you think that I will go into such a battle with someone at my side who is not afraid?’ Again a brief moment passed. Then the old man added, ‘But I would also not go into battle with someone who did not know how to overcome his fear. It is only for that reason that you do not hear my armour rattling’.” What Horses Reveal, Klaus Ferdinand Hempfling
We are all human and flawed; and no one is perfect. But it is from this place that, should we choose to do so, we can begin on our path of learning and change - whatever that looks like for each of us.
I can now finally give up on my goal of being a ‘good rider’ because what defines a good rider anyway? We are all so individual and starting from completely different places. As Jim Kwik points out “Don’t look for perfection, look for progress” and “There’s no such thing as failure, there’s only a failure to learn”.
"Don't look for perfection,
look for progress."
Jim Kwik
'Helping each other rehabilitate’….me from brain surgery to remove a tumour in July 2020 and Spanner to re-educate his movement to help his coffin joint disease & sacroiliac joint problems - note my body position is reflective of his current balance, he is not able to carry me more upright yet but I'm hinging forward from my hip joints with a lengthening spine to help him - a work in progress. All done with the very kind & generous permission of his owner, Terry.